Divorce can be a horrendously emotional process that tears your family apart and leaves deep psychological wounds for years to come. Still, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Conducting yourself properly during the entire course of a divorce process is crucial for a whole host of reasons. While it is certain that you will be put through the emotional ringer, unable to control your impulses, thoughts, or actions at times, you need to do your best to put your best foot forward at all times.
Why?
Because a divorce can define the rest of your life.
This is especially true if you have a family involved and therefore have the lives of your loved ones wrapped up in the proceedings too. Although divorce circumstances are rarely amicable, you should resist the temptation to resent your partner, jumping on every opportunity to inflict pain on them or make their life miserable.
In truth, this only serves to make both your lives miserable, as it will prolong negotiations and make the experience ten times worse.
Of course, this is not to say it is easy to do this. To help, here are some practical tips for enduring a divorce settlement:
Make sure you have a good legal team
The most crucial aspect of a divorce settlement you need to get right is your legal team.
Without strong legal representation like the Stange Law Firm​​, you could stand to lose vital assets, freedoms, and even custody over your children in a divorce case.
This is especially true if you no longer have an amicable or respectful relationship with your partner and run the risk of entering a game of tit-for-tat, where you both try and seize as much power from the divorce as possible.
A lawyer will help you get what you feel you are owed, and ensure that your life remains as pleasant and unchanged as possible.
What’s more, a legal team on both sides can help inject some impartiality and objectivity into an otherwise emotionally charged and highly irrational negotiation process. If you have children involved, the necessity for a lawyer is even more important, so don’t overlook it.
As far as possible, remove emotion from the situation
It might feel like the hardest challenge in the world right now, but you need to make sure that your emotional impulses are under control during a divorce.
While there will be a time for mourning, anger, frustration, and desperation, an intense legal negotiation isn’t the time. You need to think rationally and consider the long-term implications of acting with your heart, rather than your head.
When you are trying to work out who keeps the house, who keeps custody of your children, and who will keep the majority of your wealth, there is no place for petulance or anger. You need to calmly state your case and attempt to find a resolution that suits both parties.
After all, the sooner the process is over, the sooner you can get on with rebuilding your life.
Attempt to understand your ex-partner’s perspective
This tip is sure to make you feel uncomfortable or even a little angry. Still, if you want to remain rational and in control of your emotions, then you should at least attempt to see your divorce from the perspective of your partner.
Whether you believe the failure of your marriage was their fault or not, it doesn’t help anyone to buck heads and continually portray your partner as public enemy number one.
They are still human beings and deserve your sympathy – especially if you share children.
The last problem you want is the regret of saying things you don’t mean in the heat of the moment, only to feel guilty about them for the rest of your life.
Rekindle old friendships
A divorce can make you feel like the loneliest person in the world. A once-perfect love story has come to a crashing halt, and painful truths have been laid bare in cold legal hearings.
After all, your ex-partner was once your closest friend, confidante, and ally; now, they are the last person you want to speak to. When you are going through such an emotionally draining process as a divorce, you need support, so this isolation is far from ideal.
Instead, why not try and rekindle old friendships with people you haven’t been in contact with as much as you would have liked over the years? This way, you will fill the void left by your partner and have more people to confide in when you need their support.